Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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