new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
