i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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