dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
