she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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