Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Porn is love you can see.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
