I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
