I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
