He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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