At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
