what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
