y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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