is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
