You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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