yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
