I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
