you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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