Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
