it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You don't make any sense
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