hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
