Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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