the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
