either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
