we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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