you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
