We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
