youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
