You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
