There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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