I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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