im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
