Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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