i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
