My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
