it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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