They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
