i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
