There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
