i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you would pick up someone in the library
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
