he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
