Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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