just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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