i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
