My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
