You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
