Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
