i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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