He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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