I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
