ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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